Michael Boatwright’s driver’s license says he was born in Florida, but after waking up from a hospital bed in Palm Springs, Calif., all he can speak is Swedish. MyDesert.com has a new in-depth report on Boatwright, who was found unconscious in a motel room on February 28. He has no memory of his life and only responds to the name “Johan Ek.” Doctors have diagnosed Boatwright with Transient Global Amnesia, a disorder in which patients are unable to form new memories. Medical personnel also believe Boatwright is in a dissociative fugue state, wherein a person forgets their past and can sometimes take on a new personality. Boatwright, who appears to have lived in Sweden for much of his life, has an online portfolio that says he got a bachelors from Michigan State and Masters from Stockholm University. It’s unclear if Boatwright’s symptoms will be temporary, but similar conditions make headlines with regularity. Two months ago, the Telegraph reported on a man with “Walking Corpse Syndrome” who thought he was dead. And, unlike Boatwright who likely spoke Swedish before he found himself in the California hospital, Englishman Alun Morgan woke up from a stroke last December to discover he could only speak Welsh, a language he never formally learned.
This begs the question, if you were to wake up and only know one language besides English, which would you pick? I think it really all should be based on what type of women you’re most attracted to. That being said, Swedish ain’t a bad choice at all. They’re blonde haired women are known as being some of the hottest the globe has to offer, and quality of life in Sweden is off the charts. Did you know Swedish couples are entitled to a combined 480 days of parental leave? And you can divide it up however you want. That’s pretty fucking sweet.
However, I’m going with Brazilian Portuguese with Italian in a close second. Yes, for all of you who don’t know, there’s a difference between Portuguese and what they speak in Brazil. I bet most of you thought they spoke Spanish anyways. I know people will rip me apart since there’s been an increasing number of violent stories coming out of Brazil lately, but the women. I can’t resist those curvy Brazilian girls. They’re straight up built to fuck. And an American dollar is worth $2.25 in Brazil. That means I can take my blogging wealth and live like a king with all of the women and cocaine I want for like…a year. Yeah, that should be enough time for me to remember my old life. I’ll take it. Hopefully I don’t get mixed up in any soccer matches or concerts, though. People tend to get decapitated at those things in Brazil.
And just to prove my point…