Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

LA Kiss: New AFL Team Named After Rock Band

(NBC) Arena League football fans get ready to rock ‘n roll all night. The league is returning to the Los Angeles area with a new expansion team named after the rock band Kiss. The expansion L.A. Kiss will begin play in 2014 with home games at Honda Center in Anaheim. The league made the announcement on Thursday. Season tickets will be available for $99 and inaugural season seat holders will be invited to a free Kiss concert at Honda Center next year. Founding band members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are fans of the league that features 50-yard fields and high-scoring offenses.

Oh fuck yeah. Prayers = Answered. The only thing better than an arena football team founded by KISS would be an NFL team founded by whoever the fuck wants to fund one. I couldn’t give less fucks about this, so here’s some tits mixed with some humor.

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(Yahoo) Future Hall of Fame wide receiver Randy Moss is nearing a deal┬áto work in an unspecified role with FOX Sports, Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk.com reports. According to Florio, Moss could be a contributor to “Fox Football Daily” on FOX Sports 1 and may also appear on the new network on Sundays this fall, as well. The deal is not yet finalized, but no glitches are expected and Moss alluded to his move to FOX on his Twitter page.

Fox Sports 1 is pulling out on the stops on this one. Haven’t they heard of Randy’s rep? When he’s not involved in the play, he slacks. You know what that means in broadcast television right? When the camera’s not on him, he’s gonna be puffin’ the ganja bro. Blowing rings right in Erin Andrews’ sexy little face.

But really, his career highlights are INSANE.

And since this play isn’t on that video, I need to include it.

If you don’t know about the Brian Banks story I’ll sum it up for you real quick. He committed to USC in 2002 as a star linebacker for Long Beach Poly Tech. After his senior season, a cunt of a classmate (and I mean cunt in the worst possible way) came out and said that he kidnapped and raped her. Somehow he was convicted and sentenced to five years in jail. After he served his five years he spent five years on probation wearing an anklet and had to register as a sex offender. Then, he hired a private investigator to help him get the bitch who accused him to admit on a hidden camera that she made the whole thing up, which she did. All the charges were dropped and he finally got his chance to play in an NFL game for the Falcons last night.

Pretty wild story. None of us can even comprehend how hard it must have been for this guy sitting in jail everyday knowing he was innocent. He probably never thought he’d have the chance to throw on the pads and hit someone ever again. For all the shit stories that come from NFL players, it’s always nice to hear a tale of redemption. Good for you, Brian Banks. I hope you make the team and have a successful year. And I hope the heinous skank who accused you goes to jail for five years and is put on probation for another five after that. An eye for an eye DEFINITELY should apply here.

ESPN did a good article on Jerry Jones’ comments last week about the growing possibility of an NFL team coming back to LA. Here’s the link…

http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nfl/story/_/id/9500649/arash-markazi-no-team-arrives-years-nfl-not-return-los-angeles-long

So basically the leases for the Rams and Raiders stadiums are each up within the completion of the next two seasons. Neither team will be receiving public funding to build a new stadium or make any improvements on their current ones because, well, St. Louis and Oakland are extremely poor. Ironically, these teams happen to be the last two franchises to play in LA, both leaving after the ’94 season. Seems like the right time for one of them to come back to the second largest market in the country, no?

Look, we all know LA isn’t exactly the most hardcore sports town. People don’t necessarily follow the teams game in and game out, and when we lose, we shrug it off and move on with our night. But we’re talking about the NFL here. And not just any NFL. We’re talking the NFL of 2013. The NFL that has grown leaps and bounds in nationwide popularity since 1994. The NFL that just crushes ratings no matter who’s playing. They could broadcast Jaguars vs. Chiefs for three straight Monday nights and barely slip. LA would go fucking bananas if a team came here. Obviously they’d sell out every game. We’d finally have a team to latch onto and root for on Sunday’s at the bars. It would bring a spark to the city like when the Clippers started being good, but 20 times bigger. There’s really nothing like having your own hometown team to get the people buzzing on a Sunday afternoon, and keep the conversation going at the water coolers on Monday’s. Being from Massachusetts, the entire region literally shuts down and is glued to the TV every Pats game. I need that feeling out here. It makes the fall SO much more interesting.

And let me be real here. I don’t want the Raiders, I want the Rams. Oakland needs the Raiders. That’s one of the only things they identify with. The black and silver has been in Oakland for almost 20 years now and I think they’re fans would riot losing if they lost that shit team. Give me the Rams all day. Better team, better division, and a rivalry with two of the best up and coming teams in football. I love the idea of going four times a year against two of the best defenses, because if we were to pull out some wins and make the playoffs? Battle tested. Just like the NFC East was for a couple years. The Niners and Seahawks are gonna be good for a while. Why not bring the Rams to LA and really make an NFC WEST.

So I plead with the Rams owners here. Find a way to make it work. I need you. LA needs you. And you need Bieber rocking a Rams hat. Let’s do this shit. GO RAMS!