Reporter Interviews Adrian Peterson About Road Rage Without Realizing It’s Adrian Peterson

Posted: March 3, 2017 in Uncategorized


Well there you have it. A true, candid sign that racism ceases to exist in our great nation. We’ve got our classic stiff, white news reporter interviewing a large, muscular black man on the side of the road. Generally this situation leads to classic viral clips like “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Dat,” Charles Ramsey, and my personal favorite, the Leprechaun in Alabama. We usually see the news reporter profile his/her surroundings while holding the mic in a vice grip, ready to rip it away at any moment and save the vulnerable 10 o clock audience from a live TV swear. These are the types of things white people do that we don’t even realize perpetuate racism. You all make me sick to be the corn-bred honkey that I am.

But this clip gives me hope. Our news reporter (let’s call him Jim) is interviewing a man who’s built like a brick house. A perfect physical specimen, who just so happens to be black. Now even though I may have tooted my own progressive horn in the paragraph above, I can admit my racial tendencies. When I’m out and about in LA and I see a huge, jacked black dude, I just assume he’s a professional athlete. I always look to see if it’s someone I know. Is that wrong? Maybe. Does it make me racist? I don’t think so. I just want to make sure I catch a glimpse of Terrel Owens if we cross paths.

But our boy Jim the news reporter…he’s progressive beyond his years. He’s like the Bernie Sanders of local cable news. He interviewed one of the greatest NFL running backs to ever play the game and didn’t think twice. It was like he was interviewing his neighbor. Monster black dude who rushed for 2,000 yards a couple years ago? Hm, thought it was the guy I see in the Y locker room after I’m done swimming laps. Could have fooled me.

It’s just good to see an old white guy not profiling a large, intimidating black man. Now, they can accept each other and enjoy an orange peanut or two together. Friends forever!


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