National Topless Day In Venice Went Exactly As Expected

Posted: August 23, 2013 in Random Thought

(LAist) Breasts were bared today in Venice Beach in celebration of National Go Topless Day. For the sixth year, shirtless women (and men) took to the seaside boardwalk—nipples covered—advocating equal topless rights for all.

Well if that picture doesn’t sum up National Topless Day, feminists, and the mindset of a man all at once then I don’t know what does. Big gross titties, insecurities projected as confidence, and a boy who doesn’t want to see what’s in front of him but for some reason can’t look away because, well, there are boobs directly in his face. The photographer deserves an award for capturing so much in once snapshot.

Let’s take a look at what National Topless Day had to offer. (Hint: not much)

2, 4, 3, 1.

Close right is fighting gravity hard but it’s losing the battle. Probably had a nice set 10 years ago.

Left girl, I would at the end of a night full of strike outs.

“Do you find any of what I’ve got going on here attractive?” Funny thing to me is you know this guy was bored as hell at home and decided, “I’m gonna go see some titties in Venice.”

Ok! Now we’re talking, far right. Those are some healthy C’s on a decent looking girl. I’ll free my mind alright. I’ll free it all over your face. Funny thing about my mind is it’s located in my load.

3, 5, 1, 4, 2.

Pretty positive that bellybutton is actually the Bermuda Triangle.

Uhh…hey blue board shorts, what are you? No really, what the fuck are you?

Bright yellow pasties is the definition of pancake titties.

Love the hips. Maybe tighten it up a little but this is my #1 of the day.

Scratch that. #1 is officially in the building. Fat black dude from Old School who did the vault, you’re officially put on notice.

I just hate everyone in this picture so much. All of you need to exit earth immediately.

I think the sign should read, “Warning: This Is What Awaits You In Hell.”

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