If Kristen Stewart Was In My Class At UCLA I’d Be Scared Shitless To Approach Her

Posted: August 13, 2013 in Movies

(Source) Kristen Stewart is about to prove that she’s not just a pretty – very pale – face. The Twilight star is going back to school, and doing a full-on degree. Robert Pattinson’s on/off girlfriend has enrolled at America’s prestigious UCLA to study English Literature – while carrying on with her film commitments, too. It means the 23-year-old, who is currently shooting her new war movie Camp X-Ray, is set to become one of the hardest working actresses in Hollywood. A source revealed: “Yes, Kristen’s a Tinseltown actress worth millions but she is already considering a life after film. She never got to complete college and she wants to get a proper education. “She is a voracious reader and cannot wait to get going on her correspondence course. “It won’t be easy and it will mean putting in some fairly strenuous hours. But once she’s graduated, Kristen will be able to do almost anything she wants, in or out of Hollywood.”

No, I wouldn’t be scared to approach her because she’s a celebrity. And no, I wouldn’t be scared to approach her because she’s hot (I’m really not big on her but if she was a normal girl in my class I’d obviously be rockin a chub). I’d be scared to approach her because she looks like a raging hormonal bitch. Those two pictures are literally the only ones where she looks good and is somewhat cracking a smile. I don’t know if the whole stone-face thing is just her own personal Blue Steel, but it makes my dick shrivel back into it’s shell like a frightened turtle sometimes. She seems like the type of girl that’d bite down hard during a blowjob just to see your reaction. Translation: Not cool.

And really, Kristen. How about showing some enthusiasm? You’re presenting at the Oscars. At least pretend like you have a soul.

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