Does This Look Like The Face Of A Florida Cop Who Likes Getting Punched In The Balls?

Posted: August 10, 2013 in Random Thought

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(Sun Sentinel) Prosecutors are hitting a Lauderhill cop where it hurts, charging him with a felony for getting a female drunken driver to punch him in the genitals, according to the Broward State Attorney’s Office. Because he liked it, prosecutors said, the officer is being charged with unlawful compensation, defined as the obtaining of an illegal benefit for performing or declining to perform a public duty — in this case, arresting the driver. A second officer in the case is being accused of having sex with the passenger of the same car, all the while threatening to arrest her as well. Officers Thomas Merenda and Franklin Hartley turned themselves in Thursday night. Both are charged with unlawful compensation, a felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison, and battery, a misdemeanor punishable by up to 60 days, stemming from a May 24, 2012, encounter with the two women, who had been drinking at the Vegas Cabaret strip club on University Drive. Merenda’s lawyer, Eric Schwartzreich, said the charges against his client were baffling.

Well this is a first. I’ve never in my life heard of a dude who actually enjoys getting hit in the nuts. There are some strange, unusual ways to get your rocks off, and this is up there as one of the weirdest. Some guys like their butt tickled, some guys like to wait in porta potties until a stranger diarrhea’s all over their face. Then there’s Officer Thomas Merenda, who wants nothing more than a swift kick to the groin on a Sunday afternoon. I mean, at what point in your life do you realize that getting a nut shot is your thing? That time you forgot to wear a cup to your baseball game and coach penciled you in as the catcher? At lunch in middle school when you and your buddies were in a deadly war of sack-tap? Getting hit in the balls is one of the worst possible feelings a man can experience. It puts you out of commission for a solid 10 minutes. How this looney toon busts a nut from that is beyond me, but he needs to have Nicolas Batum on speed dial for whenever he needs his fix.

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