Jessica Alba Claiming She Has Cellulite, Stretch Marks, And Muffin Tops…You Couldn’t Pay Me To Believe That’s True.

Posted: August 2, 2013 in Hot Girls

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(Daily Mail) She is one of the most petite actresses in Hollywood, famed for her toned physique. But size 6 Jessica Alba, 32, is on a mission to convince the world she is just like the rest of us as she claims to suffer a multitude of body hang-ups including stretch marks, cellulite and a muffin top. ‘Let’s face it, I don’t have the body of a 14-year-old anymore,’ said Alba. ‘I think the more we try not to have that unrealistic ideal, the happier we’ll be.’ Speaking to Women’s Health magazine, the actress confessed: ‘I have cellulite and stretch marks – and I have a muffin top!’ But her fans will be hard pushed to spot any of these complaints, even after two children her washboard stomach and slim limbs remain perfectly sculpted.The Sin City actress explained that she finds exercise too boring and struggles to keep up with her fitness regime: ‘I have a brutally short attention span. It means I’m useless at working out. I get so bored.’ The star has previously confessed to spending three months strapped into two girdles following the birth of her second child, Haven. ‘It was brutal; it’s not for everyone,’ she said speaking with Net-A-Porter magazine. ‘I wore a double corset day and night for three months. It was sweaty, but worth it.’

Nah. I don’t believe it. I WON’T believe it. Nope. Not until I have sex with her and see these so called deficiencies for myself. And since that’ll never happen, I’ll never believe. Jessica Alba will be 76 years old and I’ll be seeing her as Dark Angel, dressed in black leather crushing any dicks that lay eye on her. Seriously, this was me at age 11 watching Dark Angel…

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It’s OK Jessica. You don’t have to pretend to be human so the rest of the female community will accept you as one of their own. You have to be yourself. You’re NOT human. Two kids down and you still make me pop wood. That’s some serious skill right there. You’re a top 5 all timer and always will be to me. You’ve got several busts in the Spank Bank Hall of Fame, if you know what I mean.

Obligatory Jessica Alba photos in 3, 2, 1.

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