Some ‘Coon Stole A Girl’s Wallet In Florida

Posted: August 1, 2013 in Random Thought

A masked thief in Florida is on the loose after stealing a beachgoer’s purse. An unnamed raccoon allegedly made off with the purse of Fort Myers woman Danielle Araica while she was distracted by the release of a rehabilitated sea turtle at Bunche Beach, ABC 7 reported. Dozens of people were on the beach to watch the release of Tampa Red, a sea turtle that had been rehabilitated after becoming injured by Red Tide, Fox 4 Now reported. Araica left her bag on the beach while she waded into the water to watch the event with her two daughters. When she looked back, “I saw the raccoon in my bag, so I start running like a crazy woman,” she told ABC 7. It was too late, though. The crook of a critter had already snatched her wallet and fled into the woods. Luckily, the raccoon dropped the loot before he got too far, and a child at the beach ran into the woods to retrieve it for Araica. It’s unclear whether the animal let go of the wallet due to clumsiness or overwhelming guilt, but either way, the would-be thief could take a lesson on technique from this little guy.

Goddamn ‘coons. Can’t turn your head for a split second without a ‘coon rolling up to pickpocket you. Those ‘coons are always up to no good. And they’re so fast too. You can’t trust a ‘coon farther than you can throw one. ‘Coons are so hard to spot at night. They’ll just run up on you and snatch your shit.

Oh yeah, and that raccoon who stole the lady’s wallet is a dick, too.

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