Archive for August, 2013

Wooooo! FYF Fest!!! #Snoozefest #No #Fun #Foundtheonepersonwhoishavingfun ^

Screw that noise. Give me hula hoop girl at Ultra all day, all night, shaking her ass, dee-light.

hulahoopa

And yes, hula hoop girl is going to be my new thing for celebrations. I’ll use any excuse to post her.

Who's the daddy: During his 87 years, Samuel Delbert Whitney's family estimate that he fathered 54 kids

Man had 54 kids

(DM) The family of a man estimated to have fathered 54 children gathered together at the weekend to celebrate the life of the man that they called ‘daddy.’ Samuel Delbert Whitney from Phoenix, Arizona, passed away last month at the age of 87. In south Phoenix he was well known for operating a wrecking yard, running several social clubs and for fathering a lot of kids. His brood range in age from 69 all the down to 13, the youngest was born when Whitney was in his mid 70s. In fact no one is exactly sure how many children Whitney fathered. One his eldest, stepdaughter Lexi Woods, has admitted her father had told her that she had 41 brothers and sisters. But since Whitney’s passing, she said his friends had approached her to reveal that the total was actually closer to 54. Marillyn Whitney described her daddy as a family man, but also a bit of a wild man. ‘He had a lot of umph in him I guess,’ she told 3TV. After their father’s passing, three of his daughters decided to organize Saturday’s memorial service and got busy trying to get in touch with as many of their brothers and sisters as they could track down. The big problem for Lexi, Marillyn and Sandra Whitney, who at age 69 is the oldest of the biological kids, was that they didn’t know where many of their siblings lived or even who they were. They put fly posters up throughout south Phoenix in an attempt to inform as many of the huge Whitney brood as possible about the passing of their father and to let them know the memorial was to be held at the Bridge Church. But when they didn’t get much of a response, they contacted the local TV news who ran a feature about their plight on the night before the memorial. The TV appeal prompted more children to come forward and some even flew in from Los Angeles to pay their respects and meet the family they never knew they had.

Samuel Delbert Whitney just put deadbeat dad professional athletes everywhere on notice. Cromartie and Dwight Howard have a longgggggg way to go before even getting put in a lottery to kiss the ring of this guy. He must have had game like a mother fucker. Like, if he had a kid in his mid 70’s, the chick had to be in her 40s right? How do you convince a woman half your age to have sex with you when you aren’t bursting from the asshole with money? “Social clubs?” Yeah, ok bro. AKA cream pie swingers clubs.

As interesting of a story as this is, it’s missing one huge detail. How many baby mama’s did he have? That’s obviously the most important part. He could have had 18 kids each with three different women and it would totally change the perception of him. But if he’s got 54 kids from 40 women, then he’s just a pure casanova. An ass crusher of epic proportions. A champion nut-buster. Someone that young black males can look at and say, “Fuck the gangsta shit. I just want to be slaying bitches half my age when I’m in my 70s.” A true American.

PS – I think I figured out how he pulled all these women. Everyone knows the ladies love a good rice…

And by perfect he meant pregnant.

 

Tracy McGrady Retires

Posted: August 26, 2013 in Basketball

Many of you won’t care about this because T-Mac hasn’t been relevant in years. But I was actually a pretty big fan back in the day. He was a gifted scorer who would have gone down as one of the top 5 guards of the post-Jordan era had he not been injury-plagued. For a 7-year stretch he didn’t average less than 24 ppg. He peaked at 32 ppg in 02-03 with the Magic. The one knock against him was always that he couldn’t lead his teams to playoff success. That may be true, but now that it’s all said and done I hope people can look back and remember the amazing talent that T-Mac was. He was a better overall basketball player than his cousin Vince Carter. Oh, and the T-Mac’s were my favorite basketball sneaker of all time.

So cheers to T-Mac on a great career. See you in Springfield.

You know when it’s middle of the day Monday and you want to kill yourself? Yeah, I’m at that point right now. But then I see this cute little thing and I remember there are still reasons to live. Thank you, nature. I live to see another day.

 

Mmm…That’s A 10.

Posted: August 26, 2013 in Hot Girls

hulahoopa

Hachi machi! Daddy likes. The hips shaking, the black panties, the sexy face, and the perfect ass. I felt bad after putting everyone through the National Topless Day, so I figured I’d make it up to you. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to internet stalk this chick because in the near and dear future she will be mine. Mine she will be.

(Source) “As good as you think he is, he’s better than that,” Josh Beckett said of Clayton Kershaw. “He could possibly be the best pitcher ever.” Beckett has had ample time to watch Kershaw from afar while recovering from surgery that treated his thoracic outlet syndrome on July 8 which required a removal of a rib. “They cut the rib out of my spine,” Beckett said. “That’s where all of my pain was, in my upper back.” Beckett reported that he is ahead of schedule and will be ready to start a throwing program this week and hoped to start his normal offseason program in December. “I’m planning for Spring Training 2014.” Although Beckett has missed a considerable chunk of the season, he doesn’t feel any regrets or that he’s missing out on anything. “I’m genuinely happy for everybody: the fans, the ownership who put this thing together. It’s an exciting time to be a Dodger fan, a Dodger player, a Dodger DL-guy, a Dodger owner. 

Two points I want to make here. First, let me say I have a bias against Josh Beckett. I’m originally from the Boston area and the last two years he was on the Red Sox he couldn’t have been more of a stuck up asshole. Extremely lazy and a clubhouse cancer. As you can see by that picture, he was on the David Wells training program. So usually anything that he secretes out of his mouth is garbage and I hate it.

Now calling Kershaw possibly the best pitcher ever is obviously going way overboard. But if you want to throw him out there as the best pitcher in baseball today, I won’t argue. Since his rookie season he hasn’t had an ERA over 3. This season he’s got an absurd 1.72. That’s the stuff of legends. Opponents are hitting .182 against him, and he’s only given up a total of 38 runs. Both of those are MLB lows.

But you wanna know what I think is his best quality? He eats innings for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No pitchers do that anymore. If your starter makes it into the sixth inning nowadays then you got your moneys worth. Kershaw throws 7 on the regular and a complete game is always in the cards. He’s tied with Adam Wainwright for most innings pitched this year with 198. It’s an undervalued quality in a pitcher. Most middle relievers are so sketchy with their performances that having a horse on the mound for a starter means a lot to a team. Kershaw is looking a lot like Roy Halladay did three years ago. Big time ace who performs his best in big time games.

Playoffs? Can’t wait.

 

(LAist) Breasts were bared today in Venice Beach in celebration of National Go Topless Day. For the sixth year, shirtless women (and men) took to the seaside boardwalk—nipples covered—advocating equal topless rights for all.

Well if that picture doesn’t sum up National Topless Day, feminists, and the mindset of a man all at once then I don’t know what does. Big gross titties, insecurities projected as confidence, and a boy who doesn’t want to see what’s in front of him but for some reason can’t look away because, well, there are boobs directly in his face. The photographer deserves an award for capturing so much in once snapshot.

Let’s take a look at what National Topless Day had to offer. (Hint: not much)

2, 4, 3, 1.

Close right is fighting gravity hard but it’s losing the battle. Probably had a nice set 10 years ago.

Left girl, I would at the end of a night full of strike outs.

“Do you find any of what I’ve got going on here attractive?” Funny thing to me is you know this guy was bored as hell at home and decided, “I’m gonna go see some titties in Venice.”

Ok! Now we’re talking, far right. Those are some healthy C’s on a decent looking girl. I’ll free my mind alright. I’ll free it all over your face. Funny thing about my mind is it’s located in my load.

3, 5, 1, 4, 2.

Pretty positive that bellybutton is actually the Bermuda Triangle.

Uhh…hey blue board shorts, what are you? No really, what the fuck are you?

Bright yellow pasties is the definition of pancake titties.

Love the hips. Maybe tighten it up a little but this is my #1 of the day.

Scratch that. #1 is officially in the building. Fat black dude from Old School who did the vault, you’re officially put on notice.

I just hate everyone in this picture so much. All of you need to exit earth immediately.

I think the sign should read, “Warning: This Is What Awaits You In Hell.”

Ben Affleck Is The New Batman

Posted: August 23, 2013 in Movies

ben-affleck-as-batman

(Variety) Ben Affleck is Batman. The actor will replace Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne in the upcoming untitled Superman-Batman feature for Warner Bros., the studio announced Thursday. Affleck becomes the eighth actor to play the Caped Crusader, following Bale, George Clooney and Michael Keaton. “We knew we needed an extraordinary actor to take on one of DC Comics’ most enduringly popular Super Heroes, and Ben Affleck certainly fits that bill, and then some,” WB president Greg Silverman said in a statement. Directed by “Man of Steel” filmmaker Zack Snyder, the Superman-Batman feature will open worldwide on July 17, 2015, with Henry Cavill, Amy Adams and Diane Lane reprising their roles. 

Christian Bale out. Ben Affleck in. I don’t know why there’s this stigma around Ben Affleck as an actor. Argo was good, The Town was great, Good Will Hunting was a long ass time ago but that was great too. To me he’s pretty decent and he’ll probably do fine as Batman.

And let’s not forget that he was banging J-Lo in her prime, and her prime was damn near as hot as it gets. She was my number one at the time. So you have to salute him for that. Remember this poster?

jennifer-lopez-in-pink-frilly-underwear-person-photo-u1

I’ll leave you with Ben Affleck’s best performance to close out my thoughts on him. “Applesauce, bitch.”

(LAist) A baby in Compton was rushed to the hospital today after the mother accidentally gave the infant a sip of vodka. Details are sparse, but ABC7 reports that the mother thought she was giving the baby water from a water bottle, which turned out to be filled with the clear liquor. The baby swallowed about half a bottle cap of vodka. The incident is under investigation, and the Department of Children and Family services has also been notified. This isn’t the first time a baby has ingested vodka by the hand of a parent. In June 2011, a father in Atlanta, Georgia, fed his three-month-old daughter a mixture of vodka and baby formula. The apparently accidental incident proved fatal.

Ah the ol’ vodka in the water bottle mix-up. An American classic. Usually this happens in college the morning after a crazy night of drinking when someone blindly grabs the first bottle of “water” they see and chugs it. It’s happened to me before and I’ll say it’s potentially the worst experience of my life. Not being prepared for the taste of alcohol, especially vodka, can lead to instant projectile puking. And when you wake up hungover just the smell of alcohol could put you over the edge.

But as for this situation…hey baby. Do you even drink bro? Half a bottle cap? HA! Here let me change your diaper for you while I’m at it. People say crying babies are the worst. Psh, you know what’s worse than a crying baby? A crying baby who can’t hold their liquor. Hospital after half a bottle cap of vodka? Guess we won’t be seeing this baby at a Blackout any time soon. Wouldn’t even make it past the pregame without ruining their friends’ nights. I don’t want to sound cruel, but this baby’s life will forever be defined by the fact that it can’t hold it’s booze. High school kegs, college parties, you name it. Everyone will always remember the time he/she went to the hospital after half a bottle cap of vodka. You know why?

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LAS VEGAS (AP) Chris Paul has already seemingly done the impossible by turning the long-languishing Los Angeles Clippers into a force in the Western Conference. Now he’s taken on another big task – rebuilding the reeling NBA players’ association. Paul was elected president of the players’ union Wednesday, replacing Derek Fisher and giving an organization cloaked in turmoil some much-needed star power at the top. The vote by NBA player representatives came six months after the union fired Billy Hunter as executive director, a position that remains vacant and follows about 18 months of in-fighting and drama that occurred during the negotiations for the latest collective bargaining agreement. Hunter countered with a wrongful-termination lawsuit in May, accusing Fisher of conspiring with NBA officials during the 2011 lockout. “It’s not about me as president or the first vice president, it’s about the players as a whole,” Paul said in a conference call Wednesday night. One of Paul’s greatest gifts on the court is an ability to get everyone involved and make his teammates better. Now he’ll try to do the same thing with the union. After the lockout ended and the lawsuits started to take hold, there was a feeling among many players and observers that putting a big name in the big chair would help galvanize the group and get star players interested in participating again.

Ok, Chris. You’re the best point guard in the league. You’ve transformed the Clippers into a contender. You pretty much are the GM of the team. And now you’re the President of the players union. These are all good things, but don’t forget about goal #1. It begins with a “C” and ends with “hampionship.” You’ve got plenty of stuff on your plate and I don’t want to see your hair line start thinning like Lebron from the stress.

By the way, next month I’m gonna start doing a full NBA preview. I’m gonna rank the top 5 in each position, pick my award winners, and give my championship picks over the course of a few weeks. So for all you basketball fans make sure to look out for all those things in late September-early October.

Obligatory top 10 career Chris Paul plays…