Dumbass Kid Inhales Blow Gun Dart, Needs To Talk To Me Because I’m A Blow Gun Dart Enthusiast

Posted: July 22, 2013 in Random Thought

blow dart

An Ohio teenager was stuck with a big problem when he accidentally inhaled a homemade blowgun dart and it lodged in his throat. The boy had made both the guns and the darts after getting information from the Internet, and had been apparently coughing and wheezing for three hours before going to a Columbus, Ohio, emergency room, LiveScience reported. At first, the boy, 15, did not tell doctors about inhaling the dart, but eventually mentioned it after it showed up on X-rays and doctors pointed it out to him, according to the medical journal Pediatrics. The patient survived, but turned out to be one of three amateur blow dart enthusiasts who came to the same emergency room in a three-month period with the same problem, according to Dr. Kris Jatana, an otolaryngologist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. In all three cases, the blow dart boys sucked the metallic, needle-shaped darts into their lungs when attempting to get a big breath to propel them. The homemade devices did not have guards to prevent the darts from going back in the mouth, USA Today reported. Jatana said all three teens required bronchoscopic procedures under general anesthesia to remove the darts, but said, luckily, none of the inhaled darts punctured large blood vessels or caused serious bleeding.

Hey kid. Listen up. From one amateur blow gun dartist to another, you broke the golden rule of blow gun darting. Always keep your thumb over the hole when you’re sucking in for that big and powerful blow, ’cause if you don’t, you’ve got a fuckin’ dart in your neck, which is not awesome. But as long as you learn from your mistake, there’s still hope for you my young padawan. The world needs more dartists. Why? Because it’s fucking badass. Just like the world needs more nunchuckers or people who straight up just rock a hook for a hand. These are all things that will thrust you into the forefront of badass alpha male superiority. So, don’t give up. Trust your instincts. And always put the thumb in the hole. Chicks dig it.

Side note: Sean William Scott is an underrated comedian. The “Old School” cameo is a straight A+.

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