Does This Look Like The Face Of An Unemployed British Man Who Couldn’t Sell Himself On EBay For $1.50?

Posted: July 17, 2013 in Random Thought

A British man desperate for work tried to sell himself on eBay for about $1.50 but received no bids. “Some wear to moving parts, surface finish worn,” is how the seller, identified by the Daily Mail as Steve Sewell of Cumbria, northern England, described himself in his listing. Along with a diploma in electrical and electronic engineering, he is a qualified IT technician and has worked as a mechanic, the ad says. He also has “excellent interpersonal skills, infinite patience and an indestructible sense of humour.” The unemployed 58-year-old in “used” condition urged employers to “grab this bargain.” Sewell offered “reliability, experience and loyalty for a reasonable wage,” all for a starting bid of 99 pence (about $1.50). But the posting closed Monday afternoon with no takers.

Steve, you gotta have some feeling of self-worth if you’re gonna be my slave. $1.50 starting bid? Pretty sure Africans in the 1800’s were sold for more than that. Granted they were younger, bigger, stronger, and had less wear and tear than a 59 year old white British man, they didn’t have some of the great social skills you possess. “An indestructible sense of humor,” might have to be my new tagline any time I have to describe myself in a job interview.

“Tell us a little about yourself, Bick.”

“Well, I grew up in a dumpy city and played basketball a lot. Got made fun of in middle and high school for having an abnormally large nose that didn’t fit my face and I kind of looked like Doug Funnie. But in turn, learning to brush off the insults at a young age eventually gave me an indestructible sense of humor.”

PS – What would this guy do if some sort of Saudi prince bought him? You know those Middle Eastern royal types. Trolling the internet for slaves on the reg.

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