Marry, Fuck, Kill: +40 Actresses

Posted: July 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

Ah, cougars. The women who manage to fend off bad skin, saggy titties, and getting fat. They’re a natural wonder, really. For this edition, we’re looking at three +40 actresses who pretty much look the exact same now as they did almost 20 years ago when they first came on the scene: Jennifer Aniston (44), Selma Hayek (46), and Sofia Vergara (41).

Jennifer Aniston 2011

Selma Hayek 2013

Sofia Vergara 2013

Pretty easy for me. I’m fucking Sofia Vergara because she’s an absolute latin bombshell. Straight 10. I’d be on cloud 9 and never come down. I also couldn’t marry her because of that goddamn annoying voice. Marrying Jennifer Aniston because she seems like a real cool chick (or at least she plays them in most of her movies). Her body is tight. Nothing special in either the T or the A, but I like the little curves she has going on with her waist. Seems like the type of chick who never works out but retains the same figure. Also seems like the type of chick that would let you try anal on the third date. And I’m killing Selma Hayek because she’s just not as facially attractive as the other two. I’d love to see those cannons but decisions need to be made. She’s getting the axe.

Marry – Jennifer Aniston

Fuck – Sofia Vergara

Kill – Selma Hayek

 

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